Becoming a New Yorker ain't such a bad thing

Last week, upon arriving home from work a normal looking 40-something gentleman was standing in my walk-up building's doorway. I didn't think any of it since this happens quite often because I live above a laundromat and people hangout outside as they are waiting for the laundry to get done.

As I approached the man and he saw that I actually lived in the building he moved out of the way for me enter. Since living in New York and hearing horrible stories, I always look over my back as I am entering my building to make sure that no one follows me inside. As I did this I saw that the man was trying to enter the building with me. Then the conversation went as follows:

Lindsay: Can I help you?
Man: I just want to get in the building to see how many apartments there are.
Lindsay: You can see how many apartments there are by looking at the buzzers (pointing to all the buttons to the apartments where you buzz someones apartment).
Man: Oh. Yeah. I know. But. I just want to look inside.
Lindsay: I am sorry I can't let you in. Are you with a company or something?
Man: No. Which company?
Lindsay: I don't know. You tell me.
Man: I just want to take a look inside really quick.
Lindsay: I am sorry I can't let you in. Why do you want to look inside?
Man: (Shocked and frustrated I wasn't giving in) For PERSONAL reasons.
Lindsay: I am sorry I can't let you in. You will have to wait for someone else (as I shut the glass door in his face and he just stares at me, much like that one Seinfeld episode). 

While this was happening I was not scared or even alarmed. This has happened before; however, usually they back down and are not so persistent. It wasn't until the situation was over and the fact that he would not give me a legitimate reason of why he wanted to get in the building that I started to see red flags. I am not saying that if I did let him in something horrible would have happened, but it was evident that this man was not "normal" to be so persistent to a young female who didn't want to be followed into her building. Any "normal" human being would have understood that and backed down quickly right when they realized I was uncomfortable.

I am sharing this story because I know a year ago I would have let this man into my building in fear of seeming naive or rude. I wouldn't have wanted him to feel uncomfortable and would have just given in. Even looking back on this situation and how I handled it, it still is apparent that I still have a lot to learn.

Because I should have done this...

I hope, even if you don't live in New York City, that you or I never do something that may potentially harm you/me out of fear of seeming rude. People should know the social boundaries of what is appropriate and what is not. If they do not abide by these social norms then you either need to let them know or get the heck out of there.