Just call us the Kevorkians

So I went through my drafts of past blog posts that were not published for one reason or another and I came across this gem. I had totally forgotten about this instance and don't remember why I didn't put it on my blog to begin with. Probably because I was a little embarrassed, but it seems over the years I have lost any kind of self pride. 
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This past weekend was a bit traumatic for me.

Background information—

About six months ago Pat and I purchase some goldfish. Not the normal looking ones; we wanted really weird looking ones with bulging eyes and huge stomachs. But I guess these features comes at a price. A few months ago we noticed that our fish with the huge stomach was having a hard time swimming–frequently laying at the bottom of the tank upside down. We thought that he might be sick but waited it out.

As time went on his behavior got worse. He now could not control his direction when he did swim, and sat that the bottom of the tank upside down almost all the time, except when we fed him. His condition really concerned me because it is sad to watch a fish that can't swim–it goes against nature!! We went to the pet store and they gave us some drops to help the ammonia levels. That didn't work, so I did some research on the internet. I discovered that it is a common problem among these particular breeds of fish. From what I understand all fish have glands that helps them swim correctly. When this gland becomes over-inflated the fish floats upside down on the top of the tank. When this gland is under-inflated the fish lays at the bottom of the tank upside down. The internet offered some remedies (such as a pea diet-which we tried and didn't worked) and even said they have surgery for the problem but it is often fatal!

So a few weeks went by and his condition kept getting worse. It just killed me to see him sitting at the bottom of the tank and not being able to swim.

This weekend—

This past Friday I was again assessing our little fishes condition and saw that by laying on the bottom of the tank all the time he had rubbed away his top fin and had blisters all along his back!!!!! I WAS HORRIFIED!!!! I felt horrible for not being able to help him. What kind of life is this for a fish. I decided that I needed to take the matter in my own hands and end his life.

Pat and I discussed how to go about doing this in a way that the fish would not suffer:

Flush him? Is that humane? He might live and for how long? Where does he go to? No we couldn't do that. Apparently they can live for hours and even days suffering in sewage! Definitely not an option.

Freeze him? Do fish get cold? It didn't know and didn't want to risk him freezing to death. I wouldn't want to go that way, so I couldn't inflict this pain on our little guy.

Chop him? We read online that a method that some people use to kill their fish is by putting them down the garbage disposal. We don't have a garbage disposal, but even if we did I do not think we could bring ourselves to do this.

In doing research online I was disgusted by the methods people chose to use to put their fish "down." There had to be a more humane way.

I decided to call around to different vet clinics and ask if they euthanize gold fish. You can imagine their response. There was always confusion and me having to go into further depth of my situation. This then usually led to a suppressed laughter and on a few occasion out right mockery. How dare they! Here they are in a career that is supposed to care for animals and they openly laugh at me because I am trying to put down one of God's creatures in a humane way?! I was highly offended.

After calling around to a dozen or so vet clinics, I was surprised to find that none of them would euthanize a gold fish. I was heart broken. What was I supposed to do now? Let the poor fish suffer for God only knew how long? I couldn't do that.

You see, I have always been very understanding of those individuals that used Dr. Kevorkian to stop their suffering of their terminal illness. I am not scared of death, just the process of dying. I was determined to find a painless option is helping our little fishy go to the other side (animals most definitely go to heaven).

Once again I turned to the internet and finally found a solution--clove oil. Apparently clove oil in small doses can put a fish to sleep, and then an overdose of clove oil will put them to sleep permanently.

I set out to find clove oil, which was not an easy task, finally finding it at a local health food store. Once the oil was purchase, Pat and I had to man up and put the little guy down. And when I say Pat and I, I really mean, just Pat because I couldn't do it.

It happened just as the internet said it would. However, I was really freaked out that he would come back to life so I put 10 times the amount of clove oil in his water to just make sure he was really gone. And he was.

I know it seems crazy to go to these lengths for a little gold fish. But if crazy is defined by people who cannot stand the suffering of any living creature, then so be it! WE ARE CRAZY!